Standard Disclaimer

See Also: OfCourseImProbablyWrong, IthinkSo

There are a few different version of this joke:

Standard Disclaimer (Original Origin: Dave's Fido, Gardner, MA)

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Sold by weight, not volume - Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Do not fold, bend, tape or staple. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Some conditions may apply. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any use, misuse or inability to use, defect, error, failure to perform, accuracy, completeness, usefulness of any information, apparatus, product, or process disclosed. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Stunt driver on private road--do not attempt at home. Discontinue use if rash develops. Park at your own risk! Not responsible for lost or stolen vehicles and contents. Small parts are a choking hazard for children. Warranty void if seal is broken. This end up. LOG OFF IMMEDIATELY if you do not agree to the conditions stated in this warning.


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