What Fnord Means

No connection with Norwegian fjords. "Fnord Motor Company" was an attention-grabbing device once used by a car manufacturer with a similar name. Generically, "Fnords" are any anxiety producing devices deliberately placed in broadcast media that encourage the subject to deliver attention to the advertisements. You must remember that your attention is the product the broadcasters sell. Fnords maximize the value of your attention by devaluing all other ideas but those advertised.

For example, when you find yourself watching an infomercial on TV, that's because of fnords on all the other channels. When, reading the newspaper, your gaze drifts from the latest stock-market figures to an ad, that's a fnord. When you've heard your fiftieth terrorist story since coffee, and just crave a little quiet time with your Friends while they enjoy the product placements, that's a fnord.

When you start to see the fnords the appalling scope of the conspiracy really starts to sink home ...


TheIlluminatusTrilogy by RobertAntonWilson has the best explanation of Fnords. They are like escape codes in text; when you come across the word 'fnord' (although it's obviously not the actual word 'fnord', or else you wouldn't be able to read this), subconcious programming (which was implanted into you by your elementary school teachers etc) kicks in, causing you not to 'see' the word, but to feel vaguely worried. The Illuminati use fnords in the media to shape people's emotions and thoughts, and so to control them.

Once you've read TheIlluminatusTrilogy, you should read the PrincipiaDiscordia?. Discordianism is a self-satirizing religion that snubs all religions including itself. (The fifth commandment of the Pentabarf is that a Discordian cannot believe anything they read, including the Pentabarf.)

My favorite thing in Discordianism is the third commandment of the Pentabarf: A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to GO Off Alone and Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotice Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday); of Judaism (no meat of Pork), of Hindic peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhism (no meat of animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

And then you should read about TheChurchOfTheSubGenius, the world's first industrial strength church. Eternal salvation or triple your money back.

And then you may be ready to ask some QuestionsThatMakeYourHeadHurt.


See ThetansAndFnords. See also WhatTheFwordMeans?.


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