Computer Error Haiku

This was originally a contest on Salon.com at http://www.salon.com/21st/chal/1998/02/10chal2.html. Salon published a followup about how the contest report was hijacked by people who removed the writers' names and sources, at http://www.salon.com/21st/rose/1998/02/24straight.html. --EricJablow

Use the Wayback Machine to find the sources mentioned above:

Challenge
http://web.archive.org/web/20080830051532/http://www.salonmagazine.com/21st/chal/1998/01/26chal.html
Haikus I
http://web.archive.org/web/20110822021515/http://www.salon.com/21st/chal/1998/02/10chal2.html
Haikus II
http://web.archive.org/web/20101211195815/http://www.salon.com/21st/chal/1998/02/10chal3.html
Followup
http://web.archive.org/web/20110818224042/http://www.salon.com/21st/rose/1998/02/24straight.html


THE ZEN OF COMPUTERS, THE ART OF ERROR--

In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.

Haiku is used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity -- the essence of Zen.

All but one of these are submissions for the Salon contest, but whoever put them here didn't put the author's names. BTW if someone knows the last haiku's author please fill it in.

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-- David J. Liszewski

The Website you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
-- Joy Rothke

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-- Suzie Wagner

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.
-- Mike Hagler

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
-- Peter Rothman

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
-- Margaret Segall

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
-- Simon Firth

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
-- Howard Korder

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
-- Bill Torcaso

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
-- David Ansel

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
-- James Lopez

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-- David Dixon

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
-- Cass Whittington

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
-- Francis Heaney

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-- Judy Birmingham

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
-- Ian Hughes

I am the master.
You have nowhere to run to.
Microsoft can't die.
-- UnknownAuthor


Some entries I wrote to amuse myself a few years ago...

Beauty, success, truth ...
He is blessed who has two.
Your program has none.

Some bugs have names
Others inscrutable numbers
Yours has not even that.

Forces in balance:
Yin and Yang, your program has
Mistakes up the latter

Wish to know the sound
Of one file defragmenting?
Hear! What? There were more?

Who is more foolish?
The fool who errs or debugs?
Oh, they are both you?

Riddle for student
What error is so fatal
It has no message

Compiler error.
Code, like wives, may still work
Too bad, yours did not.

Some incompetence
Fundamentally transcends
Mere error message.

Cogito ergo
sum. But I worry about
user. Click OK.

-- KenCarpenter

Only one user
One application error
All open are closed

Voltage is ancient
A half second power sag
No time to save you

MS-DOS upgrade
Bill Gates was nice about it
Expand and rename

All your code pristine
Works perfect in Mozilla
IE knows this not

(I can keep this up all day)

-- ClintonLabombard


There is not enough
Memory available
to display this err

Before there was Tao
There was the void known as Null
Don't reference it

From formless chaos
Each thread seeks resolution
a race condition

A Vista appears
Slow, annoying, unstable
Microsoft progress
-- BrianG
Media too old.
Pick abort, retry, ignore
To see the next error.
-- Anonymous
CategoryHaiku

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