In Soviet Russia

In America, you verb noun.

In Soviet Russia, noun verbs you!

In Soviet Russia, Computer plays on you!

I just know there's a Greek word for this exact rhetorical device.

Attributed to Yakov Smirnoff's old cold-war-era standup routines about life in his homeland. He still performs in Branson, Missouri. He can't not know that he's an internet meme. You'd think he'd have gotten a better web page.

NOTE: This is not the Web's repository of "In Soviet Russia..." jokes. Your tasteless contributions will be deleted. Reverts to display tasteless contributions from the past shall also be deleted. Thanks.

The latest successor to the AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs madness. Originated with Cold War comic genius Yakov Smirnoff.

In Russia is freedom of speech. In America is also freedom after speech. -- Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you watch television. In Soviet Union, television watches you.
In America, you check books out of library. In Soviet Union, library checks you out.
In California, you can always find a party. In Russia, The Party can always find you. -- Yakov Smirnoff

As far as I can remember, the original Yakov Smirnoff versions just referred to "Russia"; I think that "Soviet Russia" is just more politically correct nowadays. -- TimLesher

Disagreed. The In Russia jokes generally focus on using phrasing and order to cause a strong conflict of intent in a tiny literal rephrasing, in their degenerate form often by omitting words. The success of Yakov Smirnov was to use such clever techniques - there are others; this is a common Russian form of humor - to discuss topics of extreme sensitivity regarding political climate, in his case as regarded his homeland. One can very easily compare his intent, if not his ability, to the likes of Tom Lehrer or Ambrose Bierce; it is clearly political dissident humor. When the Soviet Bloc fell, it was very important to the developing democratic identity to reject past popular oppression, and as such, it became obvious that the jokes were told of Soviet Russia, as opposed to Democratic Russia, which for various reasons needed to be popularly seen as a separate entity. Besides, the meter of the joke is wrong; In Russia is not enough time for you to realize what sort of joke is coming and prepare for it, and therefore does not allow the more complex jokes which otherwise would take too long to parse and therefore be more oblique than funny. The three extra syllables have a definite positive impact on the joke on their own, before you consider their ramifications; given that in context Yakov Smirnov is forgotten as a surprisingly sensitive and deep man and now seen in the way that people which make Confucius jokes see Confucian teachings (or the locally less frequent fake zen koans which don't show deep conflict, or people which think that haiku are about how many syllables in a line,) it seems a pity that his depth is also being lost. He may not be Feynman, but he deserves to be remembered. -- JohnHaugeland?

This is all very fine, except for the fact that I've never heard any "In Soviet Russia" joke in Russia - neither in soviet, nor in democratic. -- AlexeyVerkhovsky

Smirnoff was a defector if I remember correctly. He was a popular comedian in the US in the 1980's.

the developing democratic identity has nothing to do with the change from in Russia into in Soviet Russia. First of all, this joke is unknown in Russia (neither in democratic nor in communist). Secondly, what Americans call Soviet Russia was (and still is) called the Soviet Union or USSR. This joke is American only. So Tim Lesher is right, the change is because of political correctness. The Americans refused to call the Soviet Union as the Soviet Union when it was formed but called it Russia. Later when the Soviet Union fell it became the source of confusion. The other reason of confusion could be the famous ignorance of geography in American society. During the time of communist regime in the Soviet Union the Americans mistakenly called all people coming from the Soviet Union as Russians when in fact the Soviet Union didn't destroy the notion of nationality. All people had the right to state their nationality, there were more than a hundred of nationalities in the Soviet Union. Since it's a sensitive topic, many people who lived in the Soviet Union but were not Russians were upset or surprised or offended that Americans called them Russians. -- SergeyOrlov?

Actually, I think JohnHaugeland? is right that it is just a metre thing. 'In Russia, tv watches you' isn't as funny as 'in Soviet Russia, tv watches you'. I doubt any of the people who tell the joke really think about any of the socio-political subtleties of what they are saying. They are just telling a joke. -- SinGletoned?

Appears to be particularly popular on SlashDot. There is a SlashDot journal entry with further details at http://slashdot.org/~yerricde/journal/22712 (yes, there's an identical link below)

Slashdot did a story on how the .su (Soviet Union) domain would not die (http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=02/10/19/1956242&mode=nested&tid=95). I think it was TheTippingPoint for its popularity on Slashdot, but I have no proof. -- SeanOleary

In Soviet Russia media jokes you:

In a "Family Guy" episode, Peter plays around with his car's navigation system, and turns it to Russian. The navigation system says: "In Soviet Russia, car drives You!". (variant: Another InSovietRussia joke in that episode: Navigation system: "Turn right at fork in road. In Soviet Russia, road forks you!")
I've just seen it being mentioned in the Family Guy episode "There's Something About Paulie" (aired 2000-06-27, S02E16, 1ACX10, see http://epguides.com/FamilyGuy/). I don't know if this has anything to do with the SlashDot thing, but it shows that there is a modern use of it before SlashDot. -- SebastianBreier?
There was also an episode of King of the Hill in which they go to Branson for a bluegrass festival and Bobby sells a Soviet Russia joke to Yakov. -- JoeTheriault
The Simpsons has a song called 'Ode to Branson" that makes mention of this as well: "So sit back, relax, and watch our revue! In Soviet Union, revue watches you!"
The Fox Network must have it in for this guy. Futurama used this formula when Zoidberg made an appearance on Amateur Night at the Apollo. "On my planet, clam eats you!". It was also used by Fry when the crew utilizes huge ice dispenser; "This ice dispenser is SO big, the ice crushes YOU! Yakov Smirnov said it!". Leela: "No, he didn't".
It is true that The Simpsons and Futurama were created by the same people. Family guy was created by different people. I am not sure about King of the Hill (I never quite followed that show), but the others show obvious connections in almost all episodes. Many of the characters are the same characters as ones featured in other shows, just with a different face and voice. The producers, as genious as they are, have made a string of very similar shows.
- No, it isn't true. The Simpsons and Futurama were created by Matt Groening and share some of the same writers and producers. Family Guy was created by Seth MacFarlane. King of the Hill was created by Mike Judge, who also created Beavis and Butt-Head and the OfficeSpaceMovie.
There is an episode of "Hey! Arnold" where Arnold goes to a comic convention and sees Yakov Live. After this, he tries to come up with a joke and this is the result: "In America you have presidents on your money. In Russia, we have no money!" This joke is given to Yakov in which Arnold receives 20 dollars and the joke is used in the next act.

[humorless, duplicate, and non-InSovietRussia jokes deleted]

You should remove any that aren't correct commentary on what occur[s][ed] in the Soviet Union political climate. These are mostly stupid and mostly propagate social bigotry.

'This is all very fine, except for the fact that I've never heard any "In Soviet Russia" joke in Russia - neither in soviet, nor in democratic. -- AlexeyVerkhovsky '

In ExtremeProgramming, you continually test your code. In WaterFall, your code continually tests you. -- TimLesher

In Russia, cold catches YOU! <-- apolitical

In a distant echo of GodwinsLaw, the thread was (nearly) ended with

  "In Soviet Russia, the dead horse beats you."

(see http://slashdot.org/~yerricde/journal/22712 -- DamianYerrick?)

I wanted to delete or rearrange or prettify the following, but then I realized that the text's comedy is entirely based on contradiction of style rules and expectations. Thus, the duplicates and silliness stand.

In Soviet Russia, if computer program does not execute, they execute YOU!

In Mozilla, you keep tabs in browser. In Soviet Russia, browser keep tabs on you!

"In Soviet Russia, light turns on you." -- Nathan Dunston

"In Soviet Russia, dog feeds you." -- Nathan Dunston

"In Capitalist America, law violates YOU!" -- sig on SlashDot

Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem writes YOU!

In Soviet Russia, environment pollutes YOU!

The "In Soviet Russia, charity gives to YOU!" makes sense if you remember the Soviet sense of socialism. Their whole system was basically one huge charity, where everyone shared and got free, and very close to free stuff. The loss of the government subsidies on things such as bread following the collapse of the USSR was a big problem for people who had only the money to buy bread at the lower price, as wages did not increase with prices. <--- This is complete and total nonsense. Most people in Russia are materially better off than they were under Communism. The only reason there aren't doing even better than they are, isn't because of the end of Communism, but the failure to fully replace government corruption with free markets. If Russia had a fully-functioning system of laws and civic institutions, it would be much more prosperous than it is.

Simply reversing the subject and the object in a sentence doesn't magically make it a Soviet Russia joke, or funny, for that matter -- AnonymousDonor

perhaps it's a meta-joke, in soviet Russia modern posts YOU! -- JamesKeogh

"In Soviet Russia, bong hits you!" -- some dude on IRC

"In Soviet Russia, a Trojan has you on its computer."

It is not, I come up with better ones in my sleep. If I slept.

"In America, you scam insurance. In Soviet Russia, insurance scams you!"-Anonymous

"In America, you go to mob. In Soviet Russia, mob comes to you!"-Anonymous

"In Soviet Rush, today's Tom Sawyer gets high on YOU!" - slashdot sig

"In Soviet Russia, Fridge raids you!" - Forum user commenting on parody snapshots

"In America, you shut the fuck up. In Soviet Russia, fuck shuts up YOU." - xoxohth.com forum

"In America, You find where is Waldo. In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds where is YOU! - T. Southin

"In America, you have scare crow. In Soviet Russia, crow scares YOU!" -dredd2929

"In America, you call the police. In Soviet Russia, the police call YOU!" - Anonymous

"In America, you get sick. In Soviet Russia, sick gets YOU!" - Xaruok

In Soviet Russia the future is known. It's the past that's ever-changing.

"In Phantasy Star Online, you look for Meteor Smash. In Super Smash Bros., Meteor Smash looks for you!" - Kurosan Nitebird

"In Soviet Russia, Cheese eats you!"~ Lyfe

"In Soviet Russia, company owns you!" - Simpele

"In Soviet Russia, RoflCopter laughs at you!" - Unknown

"In Soviet Russia, Global Cooling!" -Brandon Raygada

"In America, You Got Mail. In Soviet Russia, Mail Gets You!" - iceman75

"In Soviet Russia, present unwraps you!" - iceman75

"In Soviet Russia, Sign Reads YOU!" - Kitaji

"In Soviet Russia, Baby gives birth to mother!" - SataN

"In Soviet Russia, the fool pities Mr. T"

"In Soviet Russia, Terms of Service violate you!"

"In Soviet Russia, Car drive YOU!"

"In America, you make run in baseball. In Soviet Russia, you make run, you get shot!" -Kidd

"In Soviet Russia, floor rolls on YOU laughing" - me_wantee

"In America you burn CD, In Soviet Russia CD burns you." - K3G2K aka the unfunny.

"In "America You kick ass, In soviet Russia Ass Kicks YOU"- Monkey Spanker

"In Soviet Russia, bomb disarms YOU!!"- Sullivan Laramie

"In Soviet Russia, gun disassembles YOU!!"- Sullivan Laramie

"In Soviet Russia Vodka drinks YOU!!"

"In America you microwave hotpockets, in Soviet Russia hotpocket microwave you!! - Anonymous

"In America, rapist rapes you. In Soviet Russia, YOU rape rapist!!!"- Aleksy Voronov

"In Soviet Russia, the operating system boots you!!" - Samuel A. Falvo II

"in America the president gets assasinated. in soviet Russia president assassinates you!"

"In Soviet Russia, God worship YOU" Randomzkiey

"In Soviet Russia, tree chop beaver" Nathan

This page is a classic on Wiki, so quit deleting large portions of it, PLEASE! There is nothing wrong with a little lite-humor, just like the Polish, Jewish, Irish, Scottish, American, Japanese, etc., type of humor over the years, and yes I have Many of those genes in my blood.

This page has more than a little lite-humor even with those portions deleted, and the only "classic" feature of this page is the number of WikiPuppys who contribute nothing else that add dozens - I've even seen hundreds - of 'InSovietRussia' jokes to this page, very few of which are even remotely funny. Don't try to protect that. WikiWiki is not a repository for jokes - not Polish, Jewish, Irish, Scottish, American, Japanese, or even Programming related jokes, though the latter are most appropriate here.

If it were long-time contributors adding to the page, or commenting on specific jokes, perhaps I'd be saying something different. I'm going to be a lot more lenient for them. If there are any specific jokes you wish to keep from that mess, add them selectively.

There are so many things wrong with your response, but I'm not even going to bother. Accept I will tell you this: I feel sorry for you because it is obviously a personal thing for you, and it is clear that it is you who has no idea of what this Wiki is truly about.

[Last time I checked, this Wiki was truly about PeopleProjectsAndPatterns in SoftwareDevelopment, and to a lesser degree, SoftwareDeveloper culture and shared interests. Other than having been a notable Internet meme a few years ago, I don't see how a local gaggle of InSovietRussia jokes contributes to those topics. Do you have a different perception of what this Wiki is truly about?]

Yes, you do know what I know about what is the purpose of this Wiki, as we have discussed it many times, so I too know your limited and single-minded point of view. However, I will remind you.

Open Community.
A writing tool for communication.
It has an attempt at a focus.
It's focus is clearly always in a state of flux.
All of its material is subjective.
It is to be used by the users as it amuses them and suits them, I refer you to: FrontPage WelcomeVisitors, etc.
Free living community that behaves as all non-dictatorship communities do.

Yes, I also know that some of you have tried and tried to kill this Wiki, and you just refuse to believe that a free living community could be the good thing that it is.

What about FrontPage gives you the impression that WikiWiki is free to be used "as it amuses and suits" the users? First line: "This site is a ContentCreationWiki whose focus is PeopleProjectsAndPatterns in SoftwareDevelopment." Below that: OnTopic, OffTopic, WikiIsNotWikipedia. WelcomeVisitors repeats the points on PeopleProjectsAndPatterns in SoftwareDevelopment and mentions InformalHistoryOfProgrammingIdeas, then veritably shouts WikiIsNotWikipedia! We also have pages like WikiIsNotaDictionary. Your own reference to FrontPage and WelcomeVisitors does a great deal to refute your assertions. Objectively, the links are against you. You must be blissfully experiencing a great deal of confirmation bias to have read those pages any other way.

In either case, even supposing you weren't refuted by the pages you referenced, then I, as a member of the "free living community", would still be "free" to delete InSovietRussia jokes as part of what I consider 'attempting at a focus', or perhaps even if it merely "amuses me and suits me". So, based on your assertions above, you still aren't in a position to complain, unless you feel comfortable with the hypocrisy involved in doing so.

You missed the part about "Primary Focus" meaning "at least 51%" which leaves a max. balance of "49%". You also totally misunderstand the reference to "free, and open", as my meanings are: "not controlled by a dictatorship, and no user account required". You also missed the point of "community", as this is people doing what people and communities do, and yes that includes jokes and other so-called off-topic things to lighten the load of life. And, what about that part "we really don't know what it is"? Ah yes, I thought so... talk about being biased... I also never once said "me", and continually referenced "community", as obviously others have an interest in "InSovietRussia" or this page would not even be here nor would there be this discussion. And, for your information, I have not contributed to this page accept for this discussion, but I do look forward to the latest silly, stupid, or maybe even funny thing that has been added to it. Obviously, others do too, so it is "as a community does and wants".

WikiWiki has never been the ideal place to wait for jokes of any sort - I don't see a community eagerly adding jokes to 'lighten your load' - so to say it's what the community wants seems to be in error. I am hardly the only member of the community who has become upset at people trying to treat InSovietRussia as a dumping ground for bad jokes. Indeed, there were four appeals to delete jokes, not written by me. To say you know what the community wants, to use that 'RoyalWe' as you've been doing, suggests you don't consider yourself to be a dictator... you consider yourself to be a monarch. Well, unless your name is WardCunningham, from that throne step away you. Anyhow, I've not deleted the page, merely maintained it in a condition that leaves no impression that it is the Internet's repository or dumping ground for InSovietRussia jokes, as several 'non-community' members have over time attempted to treat it. It's still around to 'lighten your load'. If old jokes don't do it for you, and you need a fresh reduction of load on a regular basis, consider going someplace where achieving that is a focus. I like XkCd. Some here like SluggyFreelance, dilbert.com, and YouTube. WikiWiki does not pretend to exist in a vacuum, and so does not actively cater to every need of a live community.

You sure seem to be acting like a dictator to me. Of course, one of the problems here could be language and cultural barriers, maybe explanations are sometimes needed. Many of the things that have been deleted, have finer details that would be lost on someone of a non-American English speaking background. Reminds me of the classic pages that poop-heads on this Wiki had a hissy-fit about after the pages were well established: KurtCobainJokes?, BoogerClub, FightClub, and others that I can't think of at the moment. But, most importantly, what is ignored is that after each one of these Gestapo episodes of deletion, there is loss of good Wiki users that usually do not come back, because of their disgust. No matter the country, slipping on banana peels and farting are still funny, and so are a lot of other stupid things, and seeing them written with a new twist is a nice surprise. Also, some things written about soviet Russia ring of truths that stand as reminders of what can and should be done in the future to make sure that eventually all peoples of the world can know freedom.

In Soviet Russia, freedom imprisons you!
In Soviet Russia, gas farts you! (the quality, cost, and scarcity of gasoline, consumes you then expels you)

in soviet Russia women are leaders in soviet Russia you are straight in soviet Russia kittens give birth to bear cubs

CategoryJoke