Project Management Haiku

A few gems from the developer's craft:

    Our project was late,
    so we added more people.
    The problem got worse.

When requirements changed, the schedule did not -- were we headed for trouble?

We were doing fine, 'til they reduced the budget. Now we're overspent.

We think about risks. We have contingency plans. Oops ... but not for that.

I gave estimates. They cut all of them in half. Next time I'll pad them.

We can't get it right and still come in on schedule. Why can't we do both?

We hired consultants who told us how to fix things. They don't understand.

There is no more time, but the work is unfinished. Take more time from Test.

The module failed Test, so first we changed all the Tests. Now the requirements.

If a project fails but no one reports it has, has it really failed?

Schedule, people, scope Which one is least flexible? The boss says, "All three!"

I need to go pee But the PERT chart says that I Must wait until lunch

Our project's timeline Was written by StephenKing Terrifying fiction

Project's almost done Whoops! The V.P. just got canned Now we start again!

MicrosoftProject Lets the pointy haired boss make Ten-thousand task Gantts.

Work has proceeded Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Now we start over.


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